When I was a few months away to giving birth to my twins, I was already panicking because I haven't found a helper yet. A lot of things were running through my mind. How can I take care of the twins and two preschoolers all by myself? Well, I'll have my husband for a week but after that, I'll probably have a little help from him. What about the house, the laundry, the food, my homebased job? I was like a clown joggling these thoughts in my head. Will I ever survive?
Today is more or less a year after that panic and all those thoughts. I still don't have a helper but I have learned to wear my invisible c.r.o.w.n. 👑 to survive.
C is for the courage to win my daily battle. I made a daily checklist of my chores. I planned my day ahead of time. I downloaded a cool app to remind me of everything. But guess what? None of them worked. There are days when I think I haven't done anything right. And there are days when I give myself a pat in the back for doing a great job. No matter how my day ends, I realized that the courage to stand up in the morning is always the most important thing. It's the courage to face another day full of surprises and uncertainties just because four lovely little creatures and their daddy are counting on me.
R is for the respect I give myself and my children (including my husband). Most days if not all are challenging. I have to disagree with the evil voice telling me to punish myself for not doing a great job. I have to fight hormones and baby blues too! The respect I give myself keeps me sane. It tells me that it's okay to cry when I've had enough because it will make me feel better. It boosts my self-confidence when I'm losing it. Most importantly, it makes me forget the mom guilt. When my patience is all gone, that's when my respect for my children comes. This respect reminds me to calm down whenever I get so mad. It prompts me to change my tone when I start shouting. My favorite part, it makes me think of the hugs and kisses that I might miss.
O is for optimism. I always believe that there's power in words. The more you say it, the more that it will happen. Well, it doesn't always turn out that way but optimism has helped me see the best in everything. It lights up my day. It makes me think of solutions rather than problems. It tells me that when something bad happens, something good is coming my way. In between the day I gave birth to my twins and now, my family had been through a lot. My husband and I used to say that it'll be better soon. It is now.
W is for my willingness to learn from others. Joining some support groups on Facebook especially mommy groups has helped me see my situation from others point of views. Though virtually, I have learned a lot from different moms. It's so important to hear from people who don't know me personally because it eliminates bias judgment. Thus, learning that I am not always right. Of course, I also learn from my extended family, my husband, my friends and my kids. Everyday is a learning process because as a mom, I know there's always something new to learn that can contribute to my growth as a parent and a wife.
N is for "no". I have to accept the fact that I am not wonder woman. I get tired. So sometimes I have to say "no" to myself. No, I can't do the laundry today. No, I can't cook today. No, I can't wash the dishes today. No, I can't stay awake to fold the clothes tonight. The three baskets of laundry today might be four tomorrow. The food I ordered may not taste so good. The pile of dishes might not be pleasing to the eye. I may have a mountain of unfolded clothes on the couch. But you know what? It feels good to sit down or lie down for at least five minutes and do nothing. And so is bathing for more than three minutes. Especially is sleeping while the children are asleep instead of doing more chores. Saying no everyday is a different thing, but saying no once in a while is definitely fine.
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